INTRODUCTION

Please choose one scene from each show you are interested in. All of the Evita scenes are monologues (taken from the music) while for Drowsy Chaperone, all of the scenes are dialogues except for Man In Chair (which is a monologue). If you want to read more than one part for Drowsy, let us know and we will try to pair you up with someone else in your block. If we have extra time in your block, we will permit you to do a second scene but only after everyone has had the opportunity to read at least once for each show. Thanks for your understanding.

Here is a link to a PDF of all of the material below: click here

EVITA

These "monologues" for EVITA are extractions of lyrics from the show (as there is almost no spoken dialogue). For the initial audition, we want you to prepare one of these to be read without music. Please do not try to sing these excerpts even if you know the music (and it isn't easy to sing because we have left out certain lines). Prepare the lines for reading with feeling but also pay attention to the rhythm and rhyme as that is important. It should best be thought of as "block verse" ala Shakespeare.

EVA
(To the people)
There is only one man who can lead any workers' regime
He lives for your problems, he shares your ideals and your dreams
He supports you for he loves you,
Understands you, is one of you
If not--how could he love me?
Now I am a worker I've suffered the way that you do
I've been unemployed and I've starved and I hated it too
But I found my salvation
In Peron--may the nation
Let him save them as he saved me
Peron has resigned from the army and this we avow
The descamisados are those he is marching with now!
He supports you for he loves you,
Understands you, is one of you
If not--how could he love me?
(To Peron)
Don't think I don't think like you,
I often get those nightmares too
They always take some swallowing
Sometimes it's very difficult
To keep momentum
If It's you that you are following
Don't close doors
Keep an escape clause because
We might lose the Big Apple
But—
Would I have done, what I did
If I hadn't thought,
If I hadn't known
We would take the country?

CHE
You let down your people Evita
You were supposed to have been immortal
That's all they wanted, not much to ask for
But in the end, you could not deliver
Sing you fools! But you got it wrong
Enjoy your prayers because you haven't got long
Your queen is dead, your king is through
She's not coming back to you
Show business kept us all alive
Since 17 October 1945
But the star has gone, the glamour's worn thin
That's a pretty bad state for a state to be in
Instead of government we had a stage
Instead of ideas a prima donna's rage
Instead of help we were given a crowd
She didn't say much but she said it loud
Now Eva Peron had every disadvantage
You need if you're going to succeed
No money, no class, no father, no bright lights
There was nowhere she'd been at the age of fifteen,
As this tango singer found out.
A tango singer!
Agustin Magaldi
Who has the distinction of being the first Man
To be of use to Eva Duarte.

PERON
Dice are rolling, the knives are out
Would be presidents are all around
I don't say they mean harm,
but they'd each give an arm
To see us six feet under ground
There again we could be foolish
Not to quit while we're ahead
For distance lends enchantment
And that is why
All exiles are distinguished
More important they're not dead
I could find job satisfaction
In Paraguay
It's annoying that we have to fight elections for our cause
The inconvenience--having to get a majority
If normal methods of persuasion fail to win us applause
There are other ways of establishing authority
There again we could be foolish
Not to quit while we're ahead
I can see me many miles away
Inactive
Sipping cocktails on a terrace
Taking breakfast in bed
Sleeping easy, doing crosswords
It’s attractive

MISTRESS
I don't expect my love affairs to last for long
Never fool myself that my dreams will come true
Being used to trouble I anticipate it
But all the same I hate it--wouldn't you?
So what happens now?
Where am I going to?
Time and time again I've said that I don't care
That I'm immune to gloom,
That I'm hard through and through
But every time it matters all my words desert me
So anyone can hurt me--and they do
So what happens now?
Where am I going to?
Call in three months’ time and I'll be fine I know
Well maybe not that fine, but I'll survive anyhow
I won't recall the names and places of this sad occasion
But that's no consolation--here and now
So what happens now?
Where am I going to?

MAGALDI
The audience here are sitting on their hands
But this is Junin!
If this were Buenos Aires—
I'd have that town at my feet!
The city can be paradise for those who have the cash,
The class and the connections--what you need to make a splash.
The likes of you get swept up in the morning with the trash
If you are rich or middle class—
Eva, beware of the city
It's hungry and cold, can't be controlled, it is mad
Those who are fools are swallowed up whole
And those who are not become
What they should not become changed
In short they go bad
Five years from now I shall come back
And finally say, you have your way--come to town
But you'll look at me with a foreigner's eyes
The magical city, a younger girl's city,
A fantasy long since put down.

DROWSY CHAPERONE

Except for the Man In Chair monologue, all of the cuttings for Drowsy are dialogues. We will pair you up with someone else in your group or we will have you read with one of the directors or the stage manager.

MAN IN CHAIR
Alright now let’s visualize. Imagine if you will, it’s November 1928. You’ve just arrived at the doors of the Marasco Theatre in New York. It’s very cold -- remember when it used to be cold in November? Not anymore. November’s the new August now. It’s global warming – we’re all doomed – anyway . . . It’s very cold and a heavy grey sleet is falling from the sky but you don’t care because you’re going to see a Broadway show! Listen!

Isn’t it wonderful? It helps if you close your eyes.

Overtures. Overtures are out of style now. I miss them. It’s the shows way of welcoming you. “Hello, welcome. The meal will be served shortly, but in the meantime, would you like an appetizer?” That’s what an overture is , a musical appetizer. A Pu-Pu platter of tunes, if you will.

Oh, something new! What could it be? Sounds like a dance tune. Kind of rollicking. Maybe involving pirates. Don’t worry. There are no pirates.

Now. Here it comes. The moment when the music starts to build and you know you’re only seconds away from being transported. The curtain is going up. I can’t wait.

FELDZIEG and ALDOLPHO

FELDZIEG: Excuse me. I don’t believe we’ve met.
ALDOLPHO: I am Aldolpho.
FELDZIEG: You are Aldolpho?
ALDOLPHO: Yes, I am Aldolpho.
FELDZIEG: Not, the Aldolpho?
ALDOLPHO: Yes, I am Aldolpho.
FELDZIEG: Funny, you don’t look like a scoundrel!?
ALDOLPHO: Yes . . . What?
FELDZIEG: Why, just now I overheard the Groom saying that Aldolpho is a scoundrel. I just heard him say that.
ALDOLPHO: What? Aldolpho is a scoundrel!
FELDZIEG: Those very words.
ALDOLPHO: Aldolpho is a scoundrel.
FELDZIEG: It’s like I’m hearing it again.
ALDOLPHO: This is outrageous! He is saying this to peoples... to beautiful ladies, with breasts for making love. Why,I must...I must...
FELDZIEG: You must, you must take matters into your own hands.
ALDOLPHO: Yes, I must take-a this groom into my hands and kill him.
FELDZIEG: Yes. No. Don’t kill him. Just hurt him enough so he can’t get married.
ALDOLPHO: Show me this groom. Wait.
FELDZIEG: What?
ALDOLPHO: What kind of man is this groom? A big man? A burly fellow?
FELDZIEG: Well, he’s big on the outside.
ALDOLPHO: No. No. No. Aldolpho will not fight big men – small, pale, wheezy, little dwarf people that Aldolpho can punt far away. But no big man.
FELDZIEG: So, you’re a lover not a fighter.
ALDOLPHO: Yes, Aldolpho is a lover of beautiful ladies. Romance.

TOTTENDALE and UNDERLING

TOTTENDALE: Underling?
UNDERLING: Yes, Madam.
TOTTENDALE: The Pastry Chefs have been kind enough to provide the liquor for the party, but remember Underling, we have to be discreet.
UNDERLING: Yes, Madame.
TOTTENDALE: It is prohibition, after all.
UNDERLING: I’m aware of that, Madame.
TOTTENDALE: We’ll have to use code words. For instance, if someone asks for a glass of ice-water, it means they want a glass of vodka. Have you got that?
UNDERLING: Yes, Madame.
TOTTENDALE: Are you sure? Maybe you should write it down.
UNDERLING: I understand Madame. A glass of ice-water is a glass of vodka.
TOTTENDALE: What’s a glass of ice-water?
UNDERLING: Vodka
TOTTENDALE: Ice-water?
UNDERLING: Vodka
TOTTENDALE: Well, you see, that’s settled then. One less thing to do. Underling, might I please have a glass of ice-water? I found our meeting with the pastry chefs rather trying and I would enjoy a glass of refreshing ice-water.
UNDERLING: Your ice-water madame.
(He hands her a glass of water. She takes a sip and spits it in his face)
TOTTENDALE: That was pure vodka, you poop!

JANET and CHAPERONE

JANET: I know it seems crazy to give up a successful career to marry a man I hardly know, but somehow, for some reason when I look into his eyes... his big, monkey eyes... ah gee... I get all woozy. And that’s love isn’t it?
CHAPERONE: Not necessarily. The wooziness could be caused by any number of things. I mean, I’m woozy right now and I’m certainly not in love.
JANET: Really you’re not being the least bit helpful. Couldn’t you at least allay my fears with a few choice words of inspiration.
CHAPERONE: Inspiration? Really, dear, that’s not my forte.
JANET: But I’m so conflicted. Oh. Please. Just tell me. Is Robert the man for me?
CHAPERONE: My dear, that’s something you’ll have to decide for yourself.
JANET: But, I just don’t know if he loves me.
CHAPERONE: Why don’t you ask him? Why don’t you say, “Roger, do you love me?”.
JANET: It’s Robert. And I’m not allowed to see him. In fact, it’s your job to keep me away from him.
CHAPERONE: You’re right. And I take the responsibility very seriously. However, I’m just this moment feeling terribly, terribly drowsy. I’m afraid I have to have a lie-de down. Now whatever you do, don’t go wandering through the garden seeking out your fiancé to ask him the question upon which your future happiness depends.
(The CHAPERONE reclines, and closes her eyes)
JANET: Oh, thank you, Chaperone. I just have to know if he loves me.
(JANET sneaks out)
CHAPERONE: Such a skinny little fool. Still, I envy her. Oh, when will love come crashing through my door?

JANET and ROBERT

JANET: Look out!
ROBERT: Don’t worry, madam. I’m getting married today, so I have to wear a blindfold.
JANET: A blindfold?
ROBERT: I’m sorry. Who am I speaking to anyhow?
JANET: Why, It’s me. I mean ... Mimi. Mimi from France.
JANET: So, you are marrying Janet Van De Graaf, non?
ROBERT: Oui.
JANET: I hear she’s very beautiful.
ROBERT: Oui.
JANET: And very glamorous.
ROBERT: Ahh, oui. Oui.
JANET: Is it true that she has an exceptionally broad range and excels at playing both comedic and dramatic roles?
ROBERT: Say, I’m having trouble placing your accent. What part of France are you from?
JANET: Oh ... the middle part ... where they make the ... toast. You were telling me about your, how do you say it in English; fiancé?
ROBERT: That’s right.
JANET: Well, tell me, when was the moment when you knew that she was the only one for you.
ROBERT: It’s a funny story, actually. We were standing on the Lido deck of the Ile de France-
JANET: Yes?
ROBERT: I was amusing her with stories of my father’s oil interests.
JANET: And then what happened?
ROBERT: I looked into her eyes, her big glamorous eyes, and I felt all woozie -
JANET: And then you fell! Uh ... and then you fell?
ROBERT: Yes. Right on my keister. And I said, “well, I guess I don’t have my sea legs yet.”
JANET: (lost in the moment) But we haven’t left the dock.
ROBERT: That’s what she said. And that’s when I knew it must be love.

KITTY and FELDZIEG

KITTY: Mr. Feldzieg.
FELDZIEG: Where’s that philandering foreigner?
KITTY: Mr. Feldzieg.
FELDZIEG: How long can it take to seduce one bride?
KITTY: Mr. Feldzieg. You don’t need Janet no more.
FELDZIEG: Kitty. Not now.
KITTY: I’ve been working on a Mind Reading act. Presenting “Kitty, the Incomprehensible.”
(KITTY closes her eyes, waves her fingers at FELDZIEG)
KITTY: Now, think of something.
FELDZIEG: Oh, I’m thinking of something, alright.
KITTY: Wait! I’m getting it... “pick up some milk ... and a loaf of rye bread ... and don’t forget to shave your legs.”
(She looks at him, confused)
FELDZIEG: You’re reading your own mind, you idiot!
KITTY: No wonder it was so easy.

GANGSTERS

GANGSTER #1: Mr. Feldzieg.
GANGSTER #2: It would seem that the wedding is proceeding according to schedule.
GANGSTER #1: Now, it’s time you received your just desserts. What, do you think partner? Should we whip up something special for Mr. Feldzieg?
GANGSTER #2: Yeah. How about a Toledo Surprise?
GANGSTER #1: An inspired choice.
GANGSTER #2: You never heard of it?
GANGSTER #1: I'm not surprised. Those people who have heard of it are generally never heard from again.
GANGSTER #2: We’ll share the recipe with you.
GANGSTER #1: First you chop the nuts.
GANGSTER #2: Then you pound the dough –
GANGSTER #1: Then you bake it up nice and slow-
BOTH: And then you go to Toledo ... Toledo surprise!

GEORGE and ROBERT

GEORGE: (with phone in mid-conversation) You don’t say? Well, why don’t you just slime back into your mud hole, you back-stabbing worm! (He hangs up) Well, now I have to find another minister. Say, what are you up to!
ROBERT: I’m singing a song an old Negro taught me. A Dixie remedy for wedding day jitters.
GEORGE: You think you’ve got jitters? You got the easy part! I’ve still got to get the rice, boutonnieres, and the minister! I have the weight of the wedding on my shoulders!
ROBERT: George, it sounds like you’ve got cold feets.
(Skipping song and dance)
GEORGE: Alright, alright. That’s enough of that.
ROBERT: Sorry, George. I was just trying to calm my nerves. It is my wedding day after all.
GEORGE: Well, you could’ve snapped an ankle. Tap dancing is too dangerous. Why don’t you go out for a skate instead? That’s what I do when I want to blow off some steam.
(He hands him a pair of roller skates)
ROBERT: George, what would I do without you.
GEORGE: Wait a minute. What was I thinking? Oh, n-n-n-no. You’re not going out like that, my friend. You might see Janet. Here, put on this blindfold.
(He blindfolds him.)
ROBERT: George, you think of everything.
GEORGE: Just looking out for you, my boy. And no more tap dancing.

CHAPERONE and ALDOLPHO

ALDOLPHO: La la la la la. I am Aldolpho. And you are bride.
CHAPERONE: No, I am not.
ALDOLPHO: Whaaat? This is the bridal suite, you are the only one here. Therefore you must be the bride.
CHAPERONE: Interesting argument, but I’m afraid you are a moron.
ALDOLPHO: Whaaat?
CHAPERONE: Me – no – bride. Perhaps I could take a message.
ALDOLPHO: Yes, very good... Dear Van De Graaf bride, I must make love to you, and transport you to the place of ecstasy, sooner is better, signed Aldolpho, King of Romance?
CHAPERONE: Well, you saw through my little ruse. ALDOLPHO: Whaaat?
CHAPERONE: You’ve found me out.
ALDOLPHO: Ahh, so you are the bride.
CHAPERONE: Apparently, yes. Take me Aldollface.
ALDOLPHO: No, no, no, not Aldollface – Aldolpho. You must remember my name for when we are making love and you are screaming you must say the right name or it will spoil everything.